I belong to a change-making community. I co-exist with co-creators and visionaries with the audacity of imagining other world of possibilities. Alternately, I have co-habited with people who treat dreamers like me with contempt.
I am often hurt by the frequented injustice that we experience both intimately and publicly. I am horrified by the ugliness and the pain that oppression breeds within us. I am confronted with poverty, violence and addiction in the place I call my community just as it has crept into my relationships and my own body.
Still. I hold on to the inspiration of change-making in the way art-making provides a medium to channel a thought/idea/feeling. I struggle with identifying my previous work as a community organizer. I could not live up to my title or meet my numbers in those instances when my oppression had not been reconciled and yet my position was to hold space for those I sought to be of service to. It isn’t a cheesy cliche to say change starts within.
My ego resisted that growth. I believed I was ready because my desire and analysis were on fire. But the unhealed parts of myself surfaced and inundated my being with tides and currents that swept me back into deep parts of my unconscious where I knew injustice in a different way -where a tight analysis could no longer protect me from feeling the pain of it.
The kind of organizing I idealized was methodical and structured. Not a space where healing and change making can unravel simultaneously in the way art making had served me. So I stepped away and dove in.. immersed into my whole self -including the parts of me that hurt and are flawed. In doing so, I churned out massive visions of change-making, art-making and healing in community spaces. My process naturally gravatated toward making lists, proposals and flow charts but this time had spirit in its center.
It’s clear to me that I had tapped into a collection of synergetic visions and the frameworks for actualizing these spaces, projects and campaigns have yet to be constructed.
Movement and change as we know it is not sustainable. The greatest power we have offered our oppressors is to institutuionalize the radical idea that we are human and we have power in our unity. Post civil rights movement and the attempted economic and racial integration in the states ushered in the era of modern globalization, addiction, and the loss of identity as a community. The birth of fractionalized corporate sponsored change. I don’t want make change in a paradigm of hierchy, where deliverables matter more over peoples stories and desires.
Let me be straight up: i want to occupy a space the idea of balance and respect between and among all genders is the norm. I want to live in a way that is not toxic -not emotionally or physically.. Not toxic to our bodies, the earth or its creatures and elements. I want organize in a way that honors spirit -where protocol isn’t prioritized over prayer -where spirit is the trustful knowing within and not what a book says -where all participants are equal in their position in the space -Where prayer can be a political action and spirituality is about creativity and where nature and our intuition converge.
It is possible. We had such spaces before. We can still. We have a morsel of knowledge about how our ancestors organized themselves. we can reclaim that knowledge and allow for the evolution and creativity to recreate such spaces.
Counsils of concentric circles of children, elders, women, men and artists, philosophers, scientists, leaders, engeneers, mathmeticians, representatives, healers, educators, divinators and astronomers and laborers workered together and were dependent on one another. Cooperation being the stronghold of a nations power and not competion.
Another world is still possible…